Roommate Wanted: Non-Euclidean Unit, Prime Location

Seeking a stable, quiet roommate for a unique living arrangement. The unit is charming, if geometrically challenging. The primary issue is the staircase; it ascends indefinitely but never reaches a landing, creating a constant, subtle vertigo. The main living area seems to fold into itself, meaning that if you walk far enough in a straight line, you will find yourself back at the entrance, but rotated ninety degrees. The kitchen, which is the unit's most notable feature, exists partially in the fourth dimension. It is accessible through a rotating panel in the pantry, and while the appliances are standard, the counter space seems to occupy three distinct moments in time simultaneously. Ideal for someone who doesn't mind minor spatial inconsistencies and understands that 'up' and 'down' are merely suggestions. Utilities and impossible geometry included.