Roommate Wanted: Non-Euclidean Unit (Prime Location)

Seeking reliable, respectful tenant for a unique, fully furnished apartment. Rent is negotiable based on ability to ignore basic physics. The space is charmingly impossible. The main staircase, for example, appears to ascend endlessly into a perfect, solid corner, yet never reaches a landing; it simply continues. The living room walls are composed of intersecting planes that shift their perceived angles depending on the time of day, creating a constant, low-level sense of disorientation. The kitchen is the most notable feature: it exists orthogonally to the rest of the unit, requiring a specific, non-visible spatial key to access. We have excellent natural light, though the light source itself seems to emanate from the negative space between the ceiling and the floor. Must be comfortable with geometry that defies expectation. Utilities included. No pets with linear dimensions.