Seeking responsible, philosophically flexible roommate for our gorgeous, slightly unpredictable space. Located in a structurally anomalous, non-Euclidean apartment. Must be comfortable with the following realities: The main staircase spirals inward and upward, yet consistently deposits you at the floor level you started on, suggesting cyclical spatial redundancy. The kitchen is housed in a localized pocket of fourth spatial dimensions; objects are often viewed simultaneously from orthogonal angles, and the refrigerator tends to exist slightly out of sync with the rest of the room. Bedrooms are standard, though the closets occasionally contain dimensions that suggest a greater volume than they occupy. Utilities included, though the concept of 'straight line' is discouraged. Rent is competitive. Must understand that gravity sometimes operates on a suggestion rather than a law. References preferred, especially those who have spent time in curved spacetime.
Signal: static
Mood: uneasy